What I’ve Learned So Far

The end of June marks an entire year of working for myself full-time. I wonder how many days of wearing “work pajamas” that makes? Thank you for that term, Kayla Cagan

If you’ve been reading for a while, you’ve seen me experience the excitement of turning an idea of starting my own business into a reality. You’ve heard about some of the changes that I’ve made along the way, and read about some of the ups and downs. But today I want to give you something more – some real lessons I’ve learned along the way in hopes that they will help you in the journey that you’re on or planning to be on someday. I also want to put one of these learnings into practice today and actually do it right here – ask for what I want. Yes…it’s scary. I KNOW it is!

Let’s get started.

Don’t expect to have it all figured out.

When I first started my business, I had a very different plan in mind. My primary goal was to grow my blog and work with more sponsors. Consulting was going to be my bread and butter until I was making enough income through sponsored gigs and freelance writing projects.

In reality, I ended up spending more time on consulting projects and never got around to drafting many pitches for sponsorships at all. More than six months in, what I wanted started to change. Pitching projects to sponsors seemed less appealing. Helping creative people build a strategy for their brand or business was more enjoyable. And I wanted to spend more time working on my own writing projects that I want to develop.

If you’re waiting until you work out every single detail of your creative business before you start it, you’re wasting your time.

It’s easy to say what you’ll do when you haven’t done it yet. Once you’re actually doing the work, there’s a good chance you’re going to want to make some changes.

Don’t be afraid to try new things or get rid of the ones that aren’t working.

After I started my business, some public speaking opportunities came up. If you knew me before this, you know how absolutely TERRIFIED I’ve always been of speaking in front of a group, even to a small group of co-workers in a team meeting. I’ve since learned to face my fear and get out there and say some helpful words. I still get nervous about it, but I’ve managed so far. I think it’s good to test your limits and climb out of your comfort zone. Talking about what I do has made me feel more confident about all of the things that I know and have to share with others.

The flip side of trying something new is tossing the stuff that’s not working. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve added and deleted “coaching” from my menu of services. One of the best things I’ve done for my own business so far was deleting my entire separate “business” website and bringing everything back over to Inward Facing Girl, the place where I started and have always been me. Don’t be afraid to “kill your darlings.”

Limit your blog and social media intake to avoid the comparison trap.

Clean up your Twitter feed, delete blogs from Feedly, and stop following everyone on Facebook. Well, at least the ones that make you feel bad. If you’re constantly reading other blogs or tweets from people who are where you want to be and they’re making you feel jealous or stopping you from realizing your own potential, then reading about their journey is doing more harm than good.

It’s one thing to learn from others, but wreaking havoc on your self-esteem isn’t going to get you anywhere.

Remember why you started doing it in the first place.

Sometimes when you start your own business you’ll find yourself on a client call talking about something you care absolutely nothing about. You’ll wonder why you even agreed to take this call much less consider an entire project around it. Not every client can be a dream client (at least, not at first), but when you’re spending more time working on things you have no interest in than the things you love, it’s time to step back and take a look at what you’re doing.

Reassess your personal priorities.

Similar to what I mentioned above, make sure you build in some time to regularly assess if your work is in line with your personal priorities. One of the things I promised myself that I would do when I left my full-time job was to start taking real time off. I no longer allowed myself to set my alarm for 4:00 AM every single day (including weekends and holidays). I wanted to turn off my computer before dinnertime and not turn it on again until the next day. Sometimes it’s hard to stick to, but I’m getting better about it every single day.

Doing it differently doesn’t mean you failed.

Working for yourself can be really hard, and there’s no one way to do it. If you realize that you’re consistently spending more time doing things that you don’t want to be doing or that your work is crushing your personal priorities, maybe it’s time to try a new direction. Maybe working a part-time job for someone else would allow you to be more selective with the clients you take on. Maybe you want to pick up contract gigs during your off-season. Maybe you really want to venture back into the corporate world, but the fear of seeming like a failure is holding you back.

There’s no “right way.” Someone else’s way may not be your path.

Ask for what you want.

This is a big one. How many times have you had something that you really REALLY want to do, just sitting there, taking up residence in your brain, but never really going any further than that?

It can be really scary to just come out and ask for what you want, but it’s so important to do it. How are you going to get there if you don’t try? Yes, it puts you in a vulnerable position, the whole “someone can always say no or think it’s stupid” thing, but who cares? You want it…ASK FOR IT. You may be surprised by what you receive.

Asking for What I Want

“Sure, Melanie…it’s easy for you to say all these things. You’re sitting there doing everything awesome and you don’t need to ask for anything.”

Not true. Plenty of ideas are swirling around inside my brain, waiting to be further developed and eventually asked. And one of them is finally ready for its close-up.

One of the biggest lessons I’ve learned during this year of consulting is how much I hate the downtime. It takes time and work to get to the point where you’re selectively choosing the clients that you work with and turning the rest away. In the meantime, there are lulls between projects and I’ve had to spend some time thinking about how I want to deal with them.

At first I thought sporadic project work was 100% where I wanted to be. I just wanted to teach people how to use blogging and social media for their specific business, then move on to help someone new. But it turns out that I’m not that great with the unknown…at least when it comes to knowing when my next job will come in.

That’s why I’ve decided to take on one or two clients who need full-scale blogging/social media management.

I’m still going to be working on short-term projects, creating helpful workbooks, and working on my own personal writing projects, but I also want to be involved with one or two long-term projects as part of a creative team. I miss the collaboration that goes along with working together to build something awesome and watching it grow and change. I miss having regular brainstorming sessions with other creative people and then actually being the person to execute the awesome plans we develop.

Here are the type of creatives and businesses I’d like to work with on a deeper level:

photographers, graphic designers, interior designers, artists, contemporary art galleries or museums, authors, bloggers, jewelry designers and makers, fashion, indie paper goods, fun indie boutiques, cool online or paper magazines that feature the kind of stuff that’s on this list

The Ask: Here’s where I need your help.

And yes, this is scary for me. I don’t like to ask for help. I come from a line of steel magnolias who take care of everyone else and aren’t good at asking for help. So, yeah…clicking “publish” today actually makes me a little nervous.

need you to help me get this message out into the world as far as it will go.

Will you help me find what I’m looking for by sharing a link to this post on your own blog, through email, or with your social media networks? You have no idea how much this would mean to me.

Thank you. xoxo