Recently I read and was moved by Randy Pausch’s book, The Last Lecture. I know I’m a little late in the game on this one, but I was really touched by his circumstances and his desire to leave this guide to life behind as his legacy for his family, friends, students, colleagues, and strangers like me.
One of the things that Randy talks about is the importance of your attitude toward life. He asks, “Are you a Tigger or an Eeyore?” Tiggers are optimists. They look for the adventure and fun, notice small wonders, and appreciate the gift of life. Eeyores are pessimists. They expect the worst, focus on the negative, and spend their time lamenting what they don’t have rather than appreciating the good things in their lives.
While this wasn’t what she was referring to, Pema Chödrön’s The Wisdom of No Escape made me think about how damaging the psychological belief system created by pessimistic thought can be. Pema says, “The truth you believe in and cling to makes you unavailable to hear anything new.”
While her context is different, the message rings true for negativity as well. “Holding on to beliefs limits our experience of life. That doesn’t mean that beliefs or ideas or thinking is a problem; the stubborn attitude of having to have things be a particular way, grasping on to our beliefs and thoughts, all these cause the problems. To put it simply, using your belief system this way creates a situation in which you choose to be blind instead of being able to see, to be deaf instead of being able to hear, to be dead rather than alive, asleep rather than awake.”
Let’s face it. No one is all Tigger or all Eeyore. When you lose your job, a loved one, your home, or your freedom, the last thing you’re going to feel is optimistic. But we can strive to fall on the Tigger side of the curve more often than the Eeyore side. In fact, having a sense of optimism can help you get through the tough times once the dust has settled.
One of the things that I’ve found helpful to encourage optimism is creating time in my day to be grateful for the positive things in my life. Keeping a gratitude journal can be especially useful when you’re feeling down or having a rough day. Even though your life may not be going exactly the way you’d like, it forces you to acknowledge and appreciate the things that you do have. It breaks the pattern of pessimistic thinking, even if it’s only for as long as it takes to write down five things you’re grateful for.
If you spend most of your time in Eeyore mode, you’re going to miss out on life. Opportunities are going to pass you by because you’re either not open to them, or it’s too dark in your world to see them. Find the Tigger inside that’s screaming to get out, before it’s too late.