Biking Through Florence, Italy | Photograph by Melanie Biehle, 2009
Lately I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about saying no to some things in order to be available to say yes to the opportunities that I really want. Artist Lisa Congdon wrote a great blog post on saying no and what this has meant for her and her business, and I’m starting to think about what it means for my own.
There was a time when I would have taken every opportunity thrown my way just for the money. That’s no longer true.
2015 has marked a new beginning for me. Even though I still need to make money and, quite frankly, have pulled out my Visa more often than I’d like, I’m finding myself being much more thoughtful about taking on creative projects that are offered to me. But it’s hard, you guys.
Ever since I started my business three years ago, I’ve been scared – scared of not having enough client work, scared of not making enough money to help support my family, scared of what’s next or what’s not next. I remember going through phases of looking for full-time jobs and thinking about signing up with employment agencies, then inevitably the work would show up. Not always exactly what I wanted or needed, but it came.
This year I’ve decided to put myself “out there” in new ways – pitching ideas for essays, sharing my photography work with potential clients, and reaching out to people that I’d absolutely love to work with. Every week I’m making new connections, sending new work out into the world, and taking charge like a lioness. But the fear…THE FEAR…is still there.
Luckily I’ve been reading a lot of inspirational writing (thank you Gabby Bernstein and Danielle LaPorte), meditating EVERY SINGLE DAY, and learning how to let go of the scarcity mindset. I feel a big change happening. I’ve turned down opportunities that have not matched up with what I want to put out into the world. And while I’m still struggling with wholeheartedly believing it, I know that being selective about the projects that I take and putting more of what I really want out into the world will lead me where I need to go.
It’s hard to let go and put your faith in something bigger than you. But the truth is, we can only do so much work to make our dreams come true.
We can put in the time and energy to hone our skills, create work that matters to us, make thoughtful, honest decisions, and do what we need to do in order to financially support ourselves and our families. We can do the required research to help us create the kind of life that we want, follow the steps, and put ourselves out there. But after we do all of the things, we can’t control the outcome. We can’t absolutely know what’s next. We have to settle into uncertainty and trust that we’ve done everything in our power to get the things that we want in this life. And then…we have to let it go.
This is where I am today. Learning to sit with uncertainty. Feeling the feelings, then practicing letting them go. Saying no to the wrong things and yes to the right things. Learning to trust the process. Being present. Excited about this awesome adventure that we call life.
xoxo