National Poetry Month: Two Poems about My Late Brother

I wrote this poem ten years ago, inspired by the photograph above of me and my brother taken in 1978.

Photograph 1

Beige snow
My bright red coat stands out from the darkness
Alive.
Dry bushes and thin trees
Weak
As if they can only withstand a slight burden.

My younger brother faces the camera
Wearing a ski mask
His left foot slightly behind, slightly raised
Captured mid-walk.
In motion
Alive.

I am facing him with my right hand out.
I’m trying to give him something,
Or reaching out to hold him.
Do I want to show him something?

Twenty-five years later,
On this earth,
He is buried below the ground
Beneath the trees,
Quiet and alone.

Sometimes I wonder if he can reach me
Push his soul through invisible boundaries
And hold out his right hand
To show me something
While I wander through silent snow.

*****

This poem was written by Courtney in 1994, later in the year after Brian passed away.

Untitled

The four of us danced in and out of time

Sharing our souls over cheap wine and cheeseburgers

We walked on barefeet down the highway in August

And sneaked cigarettes talking about

What kind of animals we would be if we were

The floods came and the dance grew into a frenzy

The new pumphouse gang dispersed

We dressed in black and borrowed clothes

And aged twenty years in four days

And realized that we were joined for all of time

By the sounds of crickets chirping at night

Marco Polo, board games, and bad movies

Now an angel watches over us

And he smiles because he knows

That we have learned that doritos

Are truly fun to eat with your friends

*****

I will always miss him.