Sometimes Drew and I like to talk about what kind of person Nathaniel will grow up to be. What will he be interested in? How will he spend his days? What will his friends be like?
When Nathaniel’s teachers tell me that he enjoyed an art project, it always makes me smile. “Maybe Nathaniel will be an artist!” One of my friends from work likes to say, “He will be a Log Cabin Republican investment banker. Or an accountant.”
Drew and I are creative and love all things artsy, so I tend to gravitate toward a creative field when I think about 30 year-old Nathaniel. But truthfully, what I really want is for my son to enjoy his life and find the kind of love that his father and I did.
I don’t think I would ever be the type of mother who frets over what school he chooses to attend (or not attend), or what career path he wants to pursue. Private school is not a financially feasible option, so I’m not going to be freaking out about getting him into the “right” pre-school/elementary school/high school. Even if it were possible, I still don’t see myself getting too worked up about that.
I’m not saying that I don’t think academics are important, because I do, to an extent. Does it help your career if you go to a well-known institution? Of course it does. You’ll end up in the “to interview” pile more times than not. But I’ve had some pretty great jobs (at least on paper) and the schools I attended weren’t the cream of the crop. More like cream of the cropduster. I just don’t think schools are everything. It just depends on what you want to do, I suppose.
Things will definitely be different for Nathaniel.
The high school where I spent my junior and senior years was more like a one-room schoolhouse compared to the school Nathaniel will attend. There were only 21 people in my graduating class. When I was a junior, my elective choices were home economics or agriculture. I convinced my principal to let me take World Geography a year early, then be a teacher’s helper for the kindergarten class instead. Home economics or agriculture! Seriously? There were no foreign language classes, no fun electives like drama or art, and they didn’t even have a football team. Not that I care about sports at all, but still. How weird is that?
And they didn’t have dances.
Yep, I basically lived in the Footloose movie. The original Footloose, with Kevin Bacon. Not whatever crap Zac Efron and Chace Crawford backed out of.
Note: This was not planned. I don’t know how this week’s motherhood post led to Footloose, but I’m just going to go with it.
What I was going to say before I got sidetracked by the memory of the awesome hairstyle that Kevin Bacon had in 1984 (that apparently, according to my film buff (and buff buff) husband, Paramount spent a lot of money researching/developing for Bacon’s character in the movie), was that I really didn’t know what I wanted to do when high school was over. My parents didn’t go to college, but they always encouraged me to attend. I didn’t go to a school that prepared me for college in any way whatsoever. I didn’t really have much guidance except for my dad telling me to, “…major in English. Teachers always have jobs.” I majored in psychology instead.
Well, it’s a different world now. Teachers don’t always have jobs. No one always has jobs. And in a lot of ways, I think that can be freeing for teenagers who are trying to decide how to spend their life. Which, frankly, is absolutely preposterous. Maybe they’ll be more likely to study something that they’re truly passionate about instead of what will get them “a good job” or what they feel pressured to do. Maybe the lack of economic stability will lead to a bunch of dreamer/creative types that end up changing the world because there are no safe bets.
If I had it all to do over again, knowing what I know now, I would go to art school. I would take graphic design and photography classes. I would write. I wouldn’t even attempt to be “practical.” I think we’ve got the college thing all wrong. No one should be allowed to go to college until they’re at least 30. If they truly know what they want to do, fine, they can go earlier, but only after at least a year of internships in their chosen field.
Note: Wow. I’m kind of all over the place with this one. Sorry, or, if you’re enjoying yourself, you’re welcome.
Back to my hopes for Nathaniel.
I hope that Nathaniel remains curious about the world around him. I hope that he’s confident enough to stay true to himself. I hope that he’s strong enough to stand up for what he believes in, not be a blind follower, and forge his own path. I hope that he always feels loved and valued. I hope that he finds someone special to love and value. I hope that he doesn’t care too much about what everyone else thinks of him. I hope that he’s happy. I hope that he knows what a wonderful person he is and how much I love him.
If being a Log Cabin Republican investment banker or accountant is what leads him to having the kind of life I dream about for him, that’s absolutely fine by me.